Your Birthday Invitation Questions Answered!

Q: Do I have to invite all of the children in my child's class?

A: Not unless your school has a policy that requires you to invite every child. It is important, however, that your child not single out one or two children that are "not his friends." This type of behavior should be discouraged. Though this is an important day for your child, don't miss the opportunity to teach your child a character lesson. Let him know that there are two kids of parties - big and small. If he wants a small party, he can choose some small number of friends, generally right around his age. If he chooses a large party, he needs to plan to invite everyone in his class, play group, scout group or other group. If your child complains that a particular child is "not nice to him," help him see that this child is perhaps hurting or insecure. Also, let your child know that together you can make some rules for his party. If a certain child is not playing by the rules, you will intervene. If you really expect that this will be a problem, you may want to invite the parents too. That way, should a situation arise, you can address it with that child's parent.

Q: Can I deliver the invitations at school?

A: Taking invitations to school is only appropriate if every child in the class is invited. If you're only inviting select children, mail them to each child's home. Don't plan to put invitations in a few children's cubbies or school mailboxes. It is possible that another child could see you and have hurt feelings as a result. Also, make sure to talk with your child about the feelings of other children. Make sure he knows that it would hurt the uninvited children's feelings to talk about his party openly at school.

Q: What information should I include?

A: Make sure to include a full address, the date, the time, and the location. If there is special attire required; like socks for bowling, dressy clothes for a tea party, or old clothes for an art party, let guests know. You'll be able to plan most appropriately if you ask for an RSVP. For children's parties an RSVP phone number or email address is acceptable. Also, if desired, feel free to encourage children's parents to attend and let them know if siblings are invited.

Q: Should I include an "RSVP by" date?

A: By all means! Don't expect that your guests know how simple or complex your plans are. If you need to know who's coming two weeks ahead in order to have the right number of miniature cakes or the right number of goodie bags, say so. If you haven't heard from guests by that date and you need to know for financial reasons, place a polite phone call and simply explain that you needed a good head count for the party facility.

Q: What should I do if I don't want siblings to come?

A: Address the envelope only to the child that is invited. If a mom inquires about a sibling, let her know that the activities are geared only for your child's age group. If a sibling shows up unannounced, be gracious and include that child to the best of your ability.

Q: When should I send invitations?

A: Two to three weeks ahead of time is plenty of notice for a child's birthday party.

Q: What if I don't want gifts?

A: Feel free to specify "no gifts please" on the invitation. But do note, some children make or buy gifts well ahead of time. In this case, graciously accept the gift.